How to Decolonize- Step 2

CHANGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO SEX:

This is a biggie, but I am going to make every attempt to keep it relatively short and sweet.

You are going to have a very hard time every enjoying true health, happiness, and balance, if you believe sex is profane, dirty, and a sin.

Why is that? Look around.

Sex is everywhere. Sex is the source of all life. Sexual energy IS creative energy, and this force, this energy, is a part of everything. There is no divide between the energy used to run a marathon or create a work of art, and that used to bring forth orgasmic bliss. Thus, EVERYTHING IS SEX. We are all here because of sex. Every plant, tree, flower, animal, is directly a product of sexual expression and the union between male and female. It is truly, a beautiful thing…

Healing past sexual trauma, awakening the body and the spirits’ ability to absorb and generate mind-boggling amounts of sexual pleasure, and reclaiming a healthy sexuality and sexual sovereignty are all passions of mine, (so much so that I actually became a certified Tantra Instructor!). Not only do I believe doing these things for the self and for others is a radical step in self-care, self-love, and decolonization, but I truly believe that reframing our attitudes towards sex has the ability to save the world. I’m serious.

Here is an expert from my newest book, “How to F-ck Like a Goddess”, which will be released March 2019:

Sex. It is all around us. It is the reason each of us are

here and a driving force behind much of what we do and how

we behave. There is no denying it’s presence or its potency.

Yet for so many people, sex remains a hugely misunderstood

and complicated concept.

In our modern Western culture, sex is often used to sell,

to shame, to entice, and to manipulate. Flip on any television

program, watch any commercial, glance at the front of the

magazines in the grocery check out line, and you will see that

this is true.

In addition, most Western religions teach that sex is

sinful, something to be ashamed or embarrassed of, and

something you may even be punished for, for all eternity, in the

after life! Talk about confusing. On one hand we are being told

that we need to be sexual dynamos, always ready and able to

please our partners, and looking like societies ideal of the

ultimate man/woman while doing so, and on the other, it has

most likely been ingrained in us from a very young age that

sex and sexuality is bad. A no-no. We are taught to temper

and repress our budding sexuality, to cover it up and rise

above it, yet in the next breath we are told to be tantalizing

sex kittens who can fulfill any partners fantasies at the drop of

the hat.

There are also glaring double standards about sexuality

when it comes to men and women, and these falsehoods are

damaging to males and females alike.

Rarely in our culture is sex given the honor or respect it deserves;

that of a creative and expressive life force, capable of

soothing, healing, and even bringing enlightenment and

spiritual bliss to the conscious practitioner. Rarely is it

recognized as the divine gift and path to endless joy and bliss

that it is.

An individual who is cut off from their sexuality is cut off

from the joy and juiciness of life. They are living a half life. One

lacking in pleasure and sensuality. They can be having sex

every night, every day of the week, but chances are, if it is the

conventional, distracted, goal oriented and friction based form

of intercourse, they are going to be left feeling unfulfilled, as

though something is missing. And indeed it is….

What does all of this have to do with decolonization? Because the colonizers brought with them not just greed and dehumanization-driven violence, but rape. Prior to the arrival of white settlers, rape was unheard of and incomprehensible to the First People, until they experienced it first hand by the foreign invaders. So unthinkable was this devastating act, that it was reported a group of Native hunters could not wrap their heads around it’s reality when they stumbled upon the naked and violated bodies of two indigenous girls they discovered in the woods, surrounded by the boot-prints of a gang of white terrorists. In fact, many tribes held the belief which can be summed up in a well-known Cherokee proverb stating that: “A woman’s highest calling is to lead a man to his soul, so as to unite him with Source. A man’s highest calling is to protect woman, so she is free to walk the earth unharmed.”

European settlers brought something else with them as well: A religion that under no uncertain terms stated that sex was a profane act. Dirty and sinful. (Unless of course you were raping heathens and savages, whom everyone knows are agents of the devil and have no soul. *insert eye roll here* because the enduring hypocrisy of religious fanatics would be laughable if it were not so globally devastating and…dare I say—evil).

Any people, of any color, creed, or culture, living close to the land, in intimate communication with Nature, and harmony with her variety of life forms, knows that far from sinful, sex is the source of all life. It is the foundation of all nature, and arguably the most powerful source of healing and magic(k). You cannot escape it. You are born of it. Step outside, especially during the spring and summer months, and you would need to be blind to not see it (hhmmmmm. WAKE UP!). Birds, dogs, flies, lizards, they all get busy right under our noses! Sex makes the world go round. And (when done right), it feels aaaahhhmazing. Great sex is a human right. Or at least it should be.

When Jesus said sex outside of marriage was a sin, we must remember that this statement was made in a time and place far different than our modern world. We need to remember that people lived and spoke much differently than they do now. For example, children of both sexes were often married off as soon as they reached puberty, around the ages of 13-14. Therefore, sex before marriage really wasn’t that much of an issue. Many people, prior to marriage, were just too damn busy being children. Also, Jesus was a mystic. Mystics have a long, rich history of speaking in codes, riddles, and metaphors. In my life experience, I have observed that the masses of religious people tend to make the grave mistake of trying to interpret their sacred texts in a literal fashion. When Jesus spoke of sex and marriage, he was referring not to the man-made business contract of marriage, which essentially made the woman property of the man, (the word ‘Husband’ comes from Old English/ Old Norse húsbóndi , meaning {male} ’master of a house,’ from hús ‘house’ + bóndi ‘occupier and tiller of the soil.’ The original sense of the verb was ‘till, cultivate’, and it was essentially the husbands job to farm, i.e. till/cultivate, and seed his wife), but to the divine union of male and female energies; The Holy Wedding. There is so much more to divine union that swearing oaths of undying, unquestioning obedience….

So I would like to be clear, it is not the teachings of Jesus Christ I am opposed to. Far from it. It is the institution of western religion, the perversion of his Gospel into a tool used to control and manipulate the masses. To instill fear and dogma. To justify untold horrors and devastation against our brothers and sisters, our families, our tribes, and the children of God/dess. If your understanding of Jesus’ teachins gives you a low view of sex, then you have misunderstood him. Go and read the Old Testament, especially the Song of Songs if you need any encouragement to believe that God says sex is good! Great even.

And if you are serious about decolonizing your headspace and your life, take some time to honestly reflect on how to can go about reprogramming your mind so that it is able to be healed from the lies about one of your greatest personal powers (SEX) that it has been inundated with. Liberate yourself, and reap the hard earned rewards.

matheus-ferrero-207820-unsplash

“Part those sheets like holy waters, and I will worship your skin like a born again believer.” – Tyler Knott Gregson

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